11th) Article on Compulsions in Mental Health: (Chapter No.11):

(11^th) Article on Compulsions in Mental Health: (Chapter No.11):

So, then my idea becomes that struggling and suffering equals good work, equals hard work, equals validation. So, then I would just pursue more and more struggle and suffering and see like okay. If somebody asked me to do something, I just must do it because that's the currency, I'm going to exchange for love and validation and social belonging because I didn't know any other way to do it and then very naturally that leads to burnout. Because it's never enough and then we have to literally burn ourselves up to keep other people warm.

 When you got to go, right, so it's really interesting. One of you know common compulsions, we'll look at and I used to do this all the time too. You know we get it in our heads and so like there's nothing obviously. There's going to be all sorts of urges at all sorts of different times there's. So, there are so many areas of grey to this but as wanders on just pointed out there are tons of compulsions around. I often really believed, I needed to go to the toilet you know if there's something important happening, okay I’ve got to go and then I would go and I wouldn't need to. Lots of people have like, I've got to go and pee before, I go to bed at night.  They really feel like they do but it's just this like it ends up just being this compulsion. I just need to do it and it feels like, I need to do it but then I go and that like really I don't need to. But also I'm terrified to stop doing it, because, what if I really did need to do it very common.

The brain can invent any kind of urge or feeling that's going to make us dance and make us do the compulsions. The brain's so clever, so good at what it does and you asked how would you face in a healthy way? You risk it so, what I started doing because, I had that compulsion around like, I always needed because for me it was wrapped up with the social anxiety stuff. So, I was worried through a couple things like I wouldn't eat before doing some kind of presentation or something like that. Because I thought I was worried, I would get food poisoning. So, I would end up vomiting or have diarrhoea or something in front of the people, that I was going to speak to but then also it just became like this like oh no like, what if I needed to go while I'm giving a presentation or it's gonna like prevent me from being myself or something like that.

 So, what helped was just starting to risk it, So two things so looking at value, so saying look, it's going to be really useful to me obviously to nourish myself so again getting proactive, So, I want to nourish myself because I'm going to do something. So, I need the energy to do that, so I want to go and eat a lot of food. So, I started making sure, that I ate right before doing any kind of presentation or anything like that and then uh yeah not going to the washroom and so you know maybe I would go to the washroom at some point If I'm like okay well that's just like, I haven't used the toilet today or something like that. But then if it but also i would play around with it, like I would risk it, I would practice like eating then going right in to do a presentation or a workshop or something like that and risky. Maybe maybe I will projectile vomit all over everybody that would be awesome a great way to get over that. So, what if it's not compulsive, so how do you know it's not compulsive but again, I mean like, I would be proactive with this stuff, like if it's not. If you know, it's not issued, it's not an issue like something to watch out for here is not getting caught up, with like oh I have got to find all of the compulsions and fix and control them because then it becomes the new compulsion.

 If I don't find all the compulsions, I might struggle with mental illness right. It's the exact same pattern again. So, what I find more useful here and said everybody is you know just understand this. All this stuff always begins with normal things, so how do we start recognizing that how do we start to get proactive around values. So, in all of the normal things, I do every day,  I am going to learn how to make them about the things, i value. I am going to learn how to make them proactive about building and creating the things that, i really want to see in the world.

 I try really hard to not be judgmental and I think i made a lot of progress but  I have noticed now, I don't know-how to respond, when people come up to me and say isn't x person in the news. Terrible how do I handle these situations without judging. Again, we see how those systems around us will often push us in two compulsions like judgment really common, that a lot of people the only way they know how to build social connection is around hating things and they're just looking for reassurance right. --(Continued---)